Meaningful time

What would it be like
to spend my time with someone
who knew our time would end
and wanted it to end as friends

What would it be like
to love someone so much
the world has no worth
if they return into the earth

what would it be like
to have all my dreams
tied up in the love
of one human being?

Is this what will happen
if I find someone I love
will I lose myself
lose sight of God above

And lose my soul to worship
of a mortal being
lose my meter and rhyme
in need for meaningful time. *

Broken Hearts

Broken hearts are not instantaneous. They are made gradually and progressively over time. They are made of love and faith and dreams. They are made of caring and sharing and hope. They are made of expectations. They are made of commitment and respect. When these things are broken, these things a person values most, or those we set our heart on and build our lives around, we lose hope and we die.

I think the only one we should love like that is God because if we love Him we can never be hopeless. He does not die. He cannot be taken away from us. He is the only one who can return life to those we love, and thereby return hope to us.

There is no living human being who can offer or fulfill such a promise of hope. There is no hero who can fill our endless needs or reverse our destructive habits. There is no living person who can inspire or command in the manner God can. People with Godly attributes can persuade our minds and our hearts to adopt good traits and become better people though.

Life is a search and a learning experience. We are searching for perfection, beauty, balance, symmetry. We are looking for happiness. Most important, we are looking for happiness that never ends, because misery is unendurable. Broken hearts are unendurable. It seems impossible to go on after someone we love dies or is taken away from us.

If we believe in the spiritual things and believe those we love are still out there somewhere, loving us the way we love them, we can still have courage to go on and make them proud of us by doing the things they would have liked to see us do.

In fact, these days it is easier to believe that unseen people are out there watching what we do, because there are so many cameras always watching us. We do not know when we are going to be captured on video in unseemly and unflattering positions. Doesn't it make sense then, to try harder than ever to be good?

I have always believed if I could make a total commitment to God, everything would be okay and I would eventually find my way to happiness. Commitment itself is a progressive process. It's easy to make mistakes and lose the way.

Broken hearts come in varying degrees just like any other break. Some are little breaks like chips off an edge, almost imperceptible damage. Some are bad breaks but still reparable. The worst ones are life threatening or fatal. When someone dies of a broken heart, we know for sure that their hearts were committed completely.

I think Jesus died of a broken heart, and He loved so completely He could not live when God withdrew briefly and He was alone.

*

Surrogate

If I bore children who weren't mine
Could I bear to let them go?
Without hope of ever seeing the children again
Or being part of their lives?

Somehow it seems bizarre to me
receiving payment for giving life
To pass to another family
With no return of love in sight.

Is it progress to rely
On social technology?
Have we really forgotten
Who we are and who we used to be?

Can the new ways replace the old ways?
Should life be for sale?
If we accept the new ways
We must accept that as well.

Sorting things

Today was a sorting day, for thoughts and things and memories. I bagged some household rubble and took it to the park with the kids to paw through and decide what to do with. The last six years have been 100% chaos with no letup. I don't like being dragged around by fate.

Somehow stuff has accumulated and life has become unmaintainable.
I don't want it that way, I don't like it that way, but it has grown that way in bits and pieces over time.

So, I don't want to own more than I can reasonably maintain. I am grateful to God for the things He didn't give me, that I could never reach. I think He knows what's best for me in the long run.

With all of the events and disasters happening, and people dying unexpectedly, I think the best way to live is as though we might breathe our last breath at any moment. From that perspective, I must let go all that is nonessential to day to day existence. If I were to cease living, thinking, breathing, what would I leave behind for the people whom I love?

*

Makers of illusions

We are makers of illusions
illusions fueled by dreams
no definition or conclusion
never what they seem

Warp the surface,
imply substance
that isn't really there
missing time and care...

Light that rules the night
can it bear close inspection?
in itself an illusion
It is but a reflection...

Laundry time

Last night I was at the laundromat and I saw one of those perfect couples I sometimes hear about but almost never see.

It was a young couple from Mexico with several small children. They were having a family night out washing all of the laundry in their home.While the laundry washed they talked back and forth, watched over their children, took turns holding the baby, taking the laundry to the dryer.

When the laundry was dry, they carefully folded it together, took turns taking the laundry and the kids to the car and waved to me as they drove away.

How I loved that family, and wished ours had been like that... *

Come and play

Come and play where I play
walk with me where I go
share with me what I love
come and learn what I know

Come with me and see
my most favorite places
and see all the feelings
in my most favorite faces

Come see what I've seen
worlds of wonder I've trod
while seeking and finding
the pure love of God.

Squaw Peak Hike | Rock Canyon Provo, Utah