536. Ode. Intimations of Immortality. William Wordsworth. The Oxford Book of English Verse

536. Ode. Intimations of Immortality. William Wordsworth. The Oxford Book of English Verse

Social pressure

Clothes and paint don't make a woman
Size and looks don't make a man.
Public honors don't make a hero.
Abuse won't make someone understand.

So many clues for me to follow
so many rules for me to keep
So many bitter pills to swallow
and memories to haunt my sleep

Here am I in consternation
can't go back and can't move on
frozen stiff in condemnation
adrift in darkness all alone

Now fallen by the wayside
ideals have left me far behind.
Must I remain forever hopeless
in the valley of the blind?

Family values

Love is slow to grow where
there's no peace or understanding
Hearts fall apart where
the load is too demanding

The likely way to find friends
is similar experience.
The most likely way to keep friends
is tender care and maintenance.

How do you reach the unreachable?
How do you touch the untouchable?
How do you teach the unteachable?
How do you love the unloveable?

If the years pass away with no growth or production
children receive no significant instruction
and the troubles increase with no sign of reduction...
What is the worth of this family's construction?

Victim of the system

Homeless man's tweets lead to long-lost daughter - The Early Show - CBS News

I'm always glad to know of people who miss each other, finding each other.The system can be ruthless when it comes to families. 

Victim of the system

court dates, probates,
hard to get a rebate,
heartbreaks, double takes,
ill fates, too lates

Any way you turn you're a victim,
victim of the system

Bridges burned, no returns,
chafe and churn, nothing earned
Stiff and stern, toss and turn,
live and learn.

But no matter what you're the victim
victim of the system.

trust us, justice will be
yours for just a modest fee...
Then you will be free...

Shame, blame, tarnished name,
nothing changed
same game rearranged, nothing gained,
still in vain

no way to resist, still a victim.
Victim of the system.

Susan Cox Powell Foundation > Home

Susan Cox Powell Foundation > Home

I think that the sour statements Joshua Powell makes about his missing wife prove he does not love her and his father supports unloving behavior.  I believe she existed in a harsh, high pressure situation.

Even if Joshua Powell did not kill and dispose of her, his lack of concern for her, and his father's support of his disrespectful attitude is inappropriate and anti-family.

Matthew 24:12

"12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold."

----

Article by attorney on treatment of Powell case

Article regarding details of the end of Joshua Powell and his children.

I have this feeling of intense grief regarding Joshua Powell, his wife and his children.  They were a beautiful little family to begin with and could have had a happy life and future together.  Only God knows where they went wrong or what went wrong with them.  Only God can be the judge.  No one wants to see such things happen in our world as the things that happened to Joshua and Susan Powell, Steven Powell, the Cox family and especially to those beautiful, beautiful little boys of theirs.

May the Lord bring some measure of comfort and peace to those who loved and lost the Powell family.

Faults

If only good things rooted
in the hearts of those I love
I would never have to fear
the things that I'm afraid of

But alas, my faults will land
grow fast roots in fertile places
Till all I see are my mistakes
glaring out of others' faces

Do I fear thus being judged?
Yes, by people whom I love

Impression

You met me, you looked in my eyes
but you couldn't see me, just my disguise.
That outer shell that cannot tell
or teach you to know me well...

You see only what I am not
all the things I haven't got
that renders me irrelevant
with no point of view to present.

chains

The world closes in around you
and offers no support
Every hope you reach for
circumstances thwart

And after a while you know
there's nothing you can do
that has value in the world
to anyone but you.

After a while you give up
because no hope remains
and you can see no options left
but death or corporate chains

YTP

Now that your mother
and father are gone
will you give credit where credit is due
and remember, they loved you?

Your father was someone you criticized
but didn't notice how hard he tried
to make a monument of his life
to the causes of truth and freedom and right

And now your father is gone...

How hard can it be to be the daughter
of people who stood for virtue and honor
when all the world crumbled into sin
and they only had memories of what had been
to guide them...

Your mother caught you when you fell
and died before her time.
She gave up a part of her life to save you
she was loyal and didn't betray you
her tears, her years and yours combine
intertwine...

When your father received
his twenty-one guns,
did you think of wasted years
and loving that wasn't done
did you know his heart kept your place
that no one else could replace
his love was there if you believed
and reached to receive...

I ache for your regrets
and the bitter tears that you will shed
now and then in years ahead
wishing you'd settled things long before
and reached for the love you were longing for
that you can't reach anymore.

Heartless

Who am I to ask you to be
More than the average man?
Who am I to wish you to be
more than the sum of your parts?
I look in the mirror and I only see
Someone who has no heart.

If I had a heart I would let you be
the someone who you are
instead of weighing you down
with wishes on every evening star
Because you are not a god or a genie in a jar.
I should let you just be who you are...

Victim of the system

court dates, probates,
hard to get a rebate,
heartbreaks, double takes,
ill fates, too lates

Any way you turn you're a victim,
victim of the system

Bridges burned, no returns,
chafe and churn, nothing earned
Stiff and stern, toss and turn,
live and learn.

But no matter what you're the victim
victim of the system.

trust us, justice will be
yours for just a modest fee...
Then you will be free...

Shame, blame, tarnished name,
nothing changed
same game rearranged, nothing gained,
still in vain

no way to resist, still a victim.
Victim of the system.

When I think of you

When I think of you I feel a strange hurting.
Like I can't breathe, like my heart can't go on beating.
I lose all motivation, sense of purpose amd destination.
What should I do? Where am I going to?

My life hangs in the balance, dangles in the wind
It's a hopeless way to live, with someone who's not my friend.
I don't want to stay with you, but what else can I do?
Others depend on me, I have to wait it through.

There is no help. There is no hope.
Only memories like thunderclaps resounding in my head.
Pounding me to pieces, tearing me apart,
and always this dull, heavy aching in my heart.

Winds of war

Winds of war are blowing, winds of war are blowing
and ever stronger growing, soon they'll blow us all away.
Time ever onward flowing, time ever onward flowing
and ever stronger growing rushes us into the fray.

Our loved ones will perish, our loved ones will perish
as will dreams that we cherish
In raging winds of war and strife
tremendous waste of love and life

There will always be someone

There will always be someone who'll hate and despise
And give me reasons to hate my life
and wish I didn't exist.
There will always be people who don't love me
living in my community
whose influence I can't resist.

There will always be someone
whose ears are closed
to what I have to say.
There will always be someone
who takes the things
I love away.

I am thankful for the blessing of death
and I yearn for the day when I draw my last breath
when no one can reach my memory
and take the things I love from me.

White elephants

There are things that can happen in people's lives
that make life not worth living anymore.
The people become white elephants
and live out their lives in irrelevance.

Many people inhabiting this world
cannot feel their worth.
They feel that their existence
has no meaning on this earth.

Just because a person's born,
just because their name is known
doesn't mean they'll have a place
or find themselves a home.

There are many white elephants
living in irrelevance.

There is no help and there is no hope.
There is nothing to reach for.
There is only enduring disdain and strife
and eventually walking away from life.

Insanity

Insanity is gladness
throw caution to the wind
People are your loneliness
air your only friend

Touch the curving rainbow,
feel its soft cool mist
melt into its colors
let your spirit rest

walk away from people
who neither love nor care
find your peace in solitude
Life is better there

SimTunes for Windows (1996) - MobyGames

SimTunes for Windows (1996) - MobyGames

Mistakes

Somewhere in a dream
exists the me I might have been
Someone good and kind
great of heart, and bright of mind

Somebody I hoped I'd be
but when I look back I can see
only things I've not done right
endless sins black as night

Living with regrets.
Living in despair.
Not trying to forget,
just longing to repair

Damage I cause in this world
wanting to spare my boys and girls
from mistakes made later on...
inevitably as life goes on...

Dustwriter

My life is just
a scribble in dust
easily changed
and rearranged
easy to blow away...

I am only
someone lonely
doodling ideas
of what I think life is
and what I feel today...

And none is meant
to harm or torment
another living soul
that isn't my goal
I'm just having my say...

My words are just
scribbles in dust
here and then gone
Time flows on
and blows my writings away...

Solo mom

Never a wife she bears the burden
of an irresponsible man.
He has freedom, she has his child
and sorrows he'll never have.

Nameless baby, unwanted,
so easy for him just to say
he is not the father,
then just walk away.

Growing up a cast off person,
how can baby understand
she doesn't have to be worthless
just because of that man?

Mother a cast off person,
tried not to get involved
She knew it could only bring problems
she wasn't equipped to solve.

But now the sorrows have started again
and troubles she tried to evade
have fallen in upon her,
and she has to cope anyway.

Mom's sorry there is no father,
and the baby will share her shame.
but she will respect,
love and protect.

It's just baby and she.
A thrown away family.

Leaders

Its a sure thing, a guarantee
leaders can't be counted on to care about me
they are there filling space
just markers in a place.

I know they are not there
to solve problems or to care
my judges and my critics
they are there to get respect
from those whom they respect
not those who suffer from neglect

They are mainly there to climb places
earn trophies for their social graces
and to reach for luxuries
they feel they deserve,
but fail to serve.

I wonder why power is given to kinds
who wear nice clothes, pass tests of minds
but in testing out hearts
they fail in many parts

when it comes to people's real,present needs
they are failures in deed,
And worship with their lips, speak of worthy goals
but never ever meet them with their souls...

Family eyes

Blue eyes are the only color we have in our family, so we are used to them.  We have received stares and comments every so often from people who are not used to being around blue eyes all the time, and that has made us aware that some people can grow up without ever seeing eyes like ours.

Our kids could hardly avoid having blue eyes since both of their parents have blue eyes.

Blue is my favorite color, and I like blue eyes, but I would be so sorry if the world had only one eye color.  Brown eyes are beautiful, green eyes are beautiful, gray and golden eyes are beautiful too.  Pink eyes are unfamiliar, and white eyes. They are startling and a bit frightening, and I never have really seen naturally occurring purple eyes, but all variations are interesting.

And when eyes are closed in peaceful slumber, all people become sweet angels.

Teacher

I looked for your face
in its usual place
where it hung on
the school wall
and saw only bricks and some paint
where the nail used to be
a hole on the wall

And I understood
you're no longer a symbol
of life as its supposed to be
the balance of power
has passed to the hands
of the proud and wrinkle free.

I look for the reasons
for things I believe in
and one of those things is you.
It is hard to believe
that for all you've done
there remains no gratitude

I understand
that you have been banned
from the system you helped to construct
by the very ones who
you gave your attention to
reputations you built up

So you made
and gave the grades
then they threw you away.
Was that a fair trade???

a

15 Feb

Happy Valentine's Day

No words to say

I see in the snow
the places you've been
so close but so far away
and I with no words to say

Where do you go?
What do you do?
I've passed you for years
but I never knew

and that is the way
it will always stay
between you and I
no words to say

Salve, munde! Hello world!

http://doc.gnu-darwin.org/linguist/tt1.html

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

Hello world!

Good spirit=good mood
Bad spirit=bad mood

Mood backwards spells doom.
Doom =Consequence

Good consequences usually come from positive actions.
Bad consequences usually come from negative actions.

Occasionally bad stuff happens no matter what
a person does.

Good stuff is more likely to happen to a person who
is actively trying to be good than to a person who is actively
involved in being bad.

Badness is like an oil spill, it spreads faster than the cleanup action can handle, and causes irreparable damage while it spreads. I would suppose it is for this reason that the Bible teaches intolerance for badness.

Mistakes will be made.
There has to be allowances made for mistakes.
Mistakes do spread badness.
But repentance, making amends, and forgiveness
take most of the badness away caused by mistakes.
The only thing it can't wipe away are
the memories of those who remember badness...

Jesus died for all people willing to admit their mistakes
and make amends.It seems  most people these days aren't willing to do that.

Most people down through history have not been willing to do that.
Hence, the negative history of the world civilizations.

Each civilization has passed out of existence due to
people willing to do badness getting into positions
of high responsibility and authority.
These people then abused the power given them
and left the consequences of their decisions on the people
they were paid to serve.

All of the great civilizations down through history
oppressed their own people.

All of the great civilizations through history
used life in a disrespectful manner.

The great civilizations began with lofty goals and ideals
that disintegrated into self interest and self service.
No civilization has yet treated all beings as though
they were equals.

Competition for resources will eventually burn
out a friendship, a family, a civilization, a world.

Who wants to be around for the next world war?
Didn't we learn anything from the last ones?

Good spirit=good mood
Bad spirit=bad mood

Mood affects attitude.
The attitude of one person can affect the whole world,
especially if that person happens to be
the leader of a nation.

When voting for someone,
try to vote for the one with the better attitude.
Whoever is making decisions is sure to affect YOU.

February 11 2011

My daughters in front of the Timpanogos temple.

Temples are the culmination of the dreams of people who loved God and longed for eternal families.I have those dreams and I love to see my family members near the temples because of the hope they give of reaching those yet unattainable dreams.

Faith is things hoped for but unseen. Temples are symbols of faith that those unseen things can become reality and the world can walk away from the vices it now embraces wholeheartedly.

The temples represent the idea that love can last forever, that we may one day see God and be part of His life and His eternal family. The temples represent a better life beyond this life, a glorious existence where the sufferings and anxiety and struggles of this life are done away and peace exists that needs no enforcement.

Some people make fun of temples, and some take them for granted. I think its because they don't understand what they really are. I think if everyone understood they would want what the temples stand for and maybe we could all reach the dream together. In God's world, there is room for everyone.

Today

Summer and I went to Mountain View for her academic test today.  She did her reading test rather well I thought.  Other tests didn't go quite as well, but any progress made is always a great thing I think.  I filled out a GRA assessment on Summer and part of another one while she was taking her test.  The autism diagnosis interviews are always hard for me to fill out because they target very specific information but make no space for comments in the areas that might need more data entered.

I'm not sure what their basis for comparison is, but I don't think academic tests are very good at measuring the overall value of a human being. There is more involved in being a worthwhile individual than whether a person is able to read and write and do math.  There is a tendency to devaluate people  in society because of things they can't do, tests they can't pass.

Isn't it sad to feel disappointed in your beautiful child whom you held as a baby, just because he/she can't pass all the tests?

It is best for me to be happy with those things my children can do. 
My children are tall and strong.  There are tests they can't pass, but there are other tests they can pass.  One of the greatest tests they pass is the loving family member test.  They pass that one with flying colors!

Lori Hacking

Utah Outpouring For Lori Hacking - CBS News

http://www.lacipeterson.com/

These things were going on when my marriage was coming to an end.

I never look at these women without knowing that I came very close to being one of them, a club no one wants to join, the club of murdered spouses.  Now I just have to hope I won't be joining the club of murdered ex-spouses.

Why do people murder their spouses?

Feelings run too high I guess, based on unmet expectations or misplaced frustration.

I think also that one person wants to control the other person.

I only know, that I never want to feel that from another person again. I don't want to live in a world of disapproval and disappointment because I can't match the image in some man's mind of what he wants in a woman. I never want another person to have the power to affect my life in the way he did and has and is still doing.I never want that for my children. It is better to remain solitary than to be with someone who chases rumors of grass that is greener in other pastures.

If I could ask one thing of God it would be to help appropriate social relationships to always exist in my family that will not allow the destruction of the most precious feelings that bind the human race together. These are the feelings of caring and compassion and trust and kindness. If those had not been lost, Lori Hacking and Laci Peterson would still be alive, and Elizabeth Smart would never have gone through the ordeal she went through.

And I would not be divorced.

I am grateful to God for not making me a princess, a model or a movie star, with too much attention and not enough caring.

Image editors

Corel Paint Shop Pro - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I was looking at image editors today. There are many out there

I would like to make my own image editor and filters to go with it

Maybe I could make something that is worth something to the world of ideas???

Maybe all that is necessary is that it adds to my world of ideas.

It's possible.