post mortem

 

 

post mortem = after death

After we die where will we go?
After we die what becomes of our essence
and our remains?
I have always had answers that have relieved
some of the worries but not all.
It is always a worry that I am not
adequately prepared for death
because I know it could come at any time.

 

I never feel as though I can live my life
to the fullest because I am not really prepared to die.
What will my children do if I am gone?
Who will love them?

 

I have come close to dying several times.
I am not afraid of death as much as

I am worried about leaving a mess behind me

for someone else to clean up.

I would like to leave behind a few burdens as possible

for others.

I know that some of my goals and desires
will never be reached, but I believe God
will support me in reaching the goals that are right.

I want to leave the world a better place when I die.
I want to be someone's blessing, not their burden.
I want my children to be respectful, respectable and responsible.
I want to be good and spread goodness in the world.
I want to be someone who will not destroy others, or destroy myself,
or let others destroy me.

I think one of the worst things is living as someone's disappointment,
but  know that people who are disappointed in me want me to live up to
expectations and goals that may or may not be realistic or within my ability
to achieve.

I know there will always be someone somewhere who will be
disappointed in me.  People can't always be pleased.
I hope I can be someone who does not behave in a disappointed way
toward others.  I have before, and it was greatly detrimental to them.

When I die, I hope I have filled the purpose for which God created me.
If I can have that as my meaning in life, then the rest won't matter.
I can say that it was all worth having and doing.
May God fill me with His mercy, His light and His love.
May God help my children to be good people who will build up His
kingdom on earth and never tear it down.

Leadership

 

E pluribus unum = Many as one

 

One of my favorite scriptures is the 23rd Psalm by King David.

I memorized it when I was 12 and I play it back in my mind often

because it exemplifies the state of mind I wish I could always hold
in my head.  I think gratitude to God is extremely important, especially
in times when the world is bogged down in practices that demean

and strip the human soul of its dignity.

 

  1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
  2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
     he leadeth me beside the still waters.
  3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of
     righteousness for his name’s sake.
  4 Yea, though I walk through the valley   
     of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
     for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
  5 Thou preparest a table before me

     in the presence of mine enemies:
     thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
  6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
     all the days of my life: and I will dwell
     in the house of the Lord for ever.

I love many of David's Psalms.  It is easy to see why King Saul

called David to sing to him and ease his troubled mind and why the

people loved David so much.

David's spiritual side was very strong.

 

I think becoming king ruined him.
He was a poet and musician, not really a politician to begin with.

Being a leader brings experiences that bring out

the cynical side of a person.
Leadership means people will turn and point fingers
and cast blame on whoever holds the
position of leadership.

This is because leaders make decisions

the rest of the people can't resolve among themselves.

Leaders are in positions of high responsibility
and are given a lot of community resources
to make decisions with.
They are given the deciding vote,
which amounts to automatic victory over
any who may oppose them.
Leadership means power, but
it also means powerlessness.
If you are a leader of people who believe
they are your equals and you make a

decision they don't like they may rise up

and murder you and do cruel and obscene

things to you.

The level of pride of the people under a leader

makes all the difference in that leader's effectiveness.

We will run our elections and cast our votes, but if

the people of a country cannot agree our leaders

are rendered ineffective.

I think so many civil wars are going on in the world  today

that the people cannot agree on anything.

Without support from a unified body of people

how can our leaders lead?

 

We can prepare people to lead and raise them to positions

of dignity and pride, but unless we are prepared to be

as strong and moral and responsible as we expect them

to be, we cannot expect them to save us from our sins.

They are not gods, they are people doing a difficult job

that most of us are not qualified for.

May God have mercy on those whom we vote into

leadership positions.
They are facing unbearably evil opposition.

Cara Proximus

Dear Neighbor,

We are so sad to see you feeling ill.  You have been a
good neighbor to us and many other people.
My father reminded me how you helped him on the cement
when he was first building his house and I remember
you helped us when our heat was cut off in the winter.
My mother has told me she always knows you are
someone she can go to for help if she needs it.
She probably won't, but she knows she can.

Your wife has always been kind and helpful to
me and to my children.

We have often seen you helping others around
the neighborhood and throughout the community.
We are grateful to have had such good and merciful neighbors.

We are very sorry you are not feeling well.
No one wants to see you sick and run down
and I can see by the way your family flocks around you
that they love you and you are so very precious to them.

I think the Lord must have especially great blessings reserved
for people who have done as much good in the world
as you and your wife have achieved both separately and together.

I don't really have anything to fix things for you and your family.
Feelings are about all I have to offer,
but I don't really want to leave the neighborhood
this time around without letting you know
that I think you are very good people and how grateful
we are to have had you as our neighbors.

No, we're not leaving the neighborhood yet, but we will sometime.

I think one of the greatest gifts Heavenly Father gives to people,
other than family are good neighbors.
Our world is scary with the way people move back and forth
and leave us with strangers all around us who may or may not
care about us.  We take our neighbors for granted sometimes,
but we really shouldn't because in the end
the kindness and mercy we show to and receive from
those around us is really what counts most when we reach the other side.

So, your frailty really bothers me and I wish
you can be healed and feel better soon.
You have been part of my life since I was young.
I wish you all of the vigor you once had.

Suae quisque fortunae faber est = Every man is the artisan of his own fortune - from Appius Claudius

What will you leave behind you?

Media publishing has become a relatively quick and easy
but not necessarily effortless activity.
It is easy to shoot off some little negative sarcastic quip
but the extraordinary stuff, the inspirational and precious and beautiful
must still be sought for and created with great effort.

We are overdosing on information; the contents of thousands of minds
equal or superior to our own minds.
We are searching for those things that would make us more complete
and yet finding increasing emptiness and lack of individual worth.

Social boundaries still exist, and criminal activities are unbounded
and sin is easier and less recognizable than before.

Where do we want our minds to be really?
Do our minds belong in other peoples' bedrooms,
or in their wallets, or in their weaknesses?
Should we be looking for their faults when
we ourselves are not perfect?

If we cause others to exist in cages
we must accept the possibility
that someday we or our descendants
will also be caged.

What is freedom?
Is it money or lack of it?
Is it worry or lack of worry?
Is it experience or lack of experience?
Is it knowledge or ignorance?

We play out our roles in life, and struggle to
survive with the tools we have been given.
We are limited by our abilities, our skills,
our experience, our attitudes.

Making our way in this world can be so difficult.
We are subject to the whims and comments
and attitudes of others around us.
They can hurt us or they can help us.

Sometimes the greatest gift one person can give
to another person is a smile and a kind word.

Sometimes the human soul is dragged down and worn out.
Some souls thrive under adverse conditions.
They become the raging unstoppable fires that
force cannot subdue.
Others wear down and quickly pass out of existence
like candle flames.

In the end, the one thing that matters most
is the kind and honorable actions of
one human being to another
regardless of the roles they fill in life.

We will all be judged.
We will be judged by our correctness
and propriety or lack of these traits.
Our mediator in this judgment
will be our response or lack of response to
our most honorable feelings.
Integrity, commitment, faith, kindness,
and the willingness to stand for righteousness
even though we know we will lose everything
will be what matters most.
No matter what other voices are
speaking for other causes out there,
virtues and good behavior are never out of style.

In the end what will you be remembered for?
How would you like to be remembered?
What are you most likely to leave behind you when you die?

Try for good memories of you and for you.

Ecclesia Church

Today's experience was tinted by pervasive sadness.
It is one of those days when I have accepted my failure
and can't progress beyond it.

Two of my children chose not to come with me to church.
They were not feeling well.
One went home with Grandpa during Sacrament Meeting
after partaking of the sacrament.

He was not feeling well either.

The theme today was missionary work.

One point mentioned in the course of the speaking
is the necessity for stating our beliefs and our position
in whatever form of communication we choose
and especially in our blogs.

Our publications can be seen worldwide.
We may not be official representatives of our church and our faith,
but we can at least share what we believe in by
announcing those beliefs in our writings.

We may not be able to save the world by ourselves,
or change other people, and what they do.
We can make the world better by offering our beliefs,
our stories, and our reasons for believing as we do.
In this way, we can help others improve their lives
even if we can't currently improve our own.

My daughter is reading my blog and has asked me
to write a little bit about horses.
This is off topic, and off topic things are generally
considered rude, but oh well,
my blog is not going to be perfect anyhow.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Horses have two ends just as people do.
Generally, the end people and horses do their thinking with
determines their eventual destination.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I will end with that.
I will have to make my blog into
one that my children
might like to read sometimes.

Snow

veni, vidi, vici = I came, I saw, I conquered

Snow is here, a shocking sight considering everything yesterday was green. 
Yesterday was chilly.  Just a precursor to colder things to come.

I came from a warm place, and the first time I saw snow
I ran out into it with bare feet, not knowing how cold it would be.
I was only in it for a few minutes.
It was long enough to make my feet turn a bluish red color.
When I went indoors my parents put my feet and hands in warm water
to get rid of the bluish red color.
The warm water caused my cold hands and feet to hurt intolerably
as the circulation returned to them.

I wonder if this will be one of those winters with six foot snowdrifts
here in the valley?

I wonder how the pioneers who settled this place tolerated the winters
what they thought about, what they did, and how they prepared?

I used to like making snow angels.
I thought the big snowflakes looked like feathers dropped from
white wings drifting down.
I like the way light filtered through deep snowdrifts or ice
shimmers light blue, crystal blue.

One of my children has crystal blue eyes.

I think snow is beautiful, but I don't like it very much.

On the surface it is a joy to behold, but its substance is
so uncomfortable and unsafe. It can't be trusted.
It is inconsistent and unpredictable.  It comes and goes as it pleases.
It is cold and slippery.  It offers no refuge or comfort, but
offers instead, danger and death to those who are left to its mercy.
Its properties embody many of the qualities I wish never to find in
another person, least of all myself.

Some people have learned to be friends with the snow
I haven't yet. I accept it though.
I know the snow is necessary for certain things I love very much.
Snow is a blanket for the landscape,
and water storage for the plants that burst forth in the spring.
Snow is caused by coldness, and the cold makes apples sweeter.
I appreciate warmth and shelter more and
the people I love.
I like having less flies and mosquitoes around to torment me.
I love and need God more during the snowy season.
Sad but true.  Snow reminds me to pray.

I should only accept its blessings, thank the Lord for it and forget the other part.

Winter is begun and I am lonely for the spring.

Criticism

 

De gustibus non est disputandum
                   =

One ought not argue about tastes

 

Looking at the world through critical eyes is like looking at
the sky through dirty windows. 
Part of your vision is obscured.  Part of the light is blocked
and the dirty spots are difficult to ignore.
If you do ignore the dirty spots though,
you might see something beautiful.  You might see the
answers to your prayers or your sweetest dream
come true.  Dirt is an inevitable fact of life.
Dirt washes off. 

Critical eyes and critical minds
remember the dirt though.
Critical eyes are good for guiding our hands
to make life better. 
Critical minds are good if they use information they gather
to make the world a better place.
When criticism is turned toward human beings it becomes
a terrible unforgiving merciless weapon of destruction.

The somebody I wish I could be is someone who can see past
all the dirt that might obscure my vision and see only the good
in this world.  Critical people are the dirtiest ones of all.  If I could ask
God for any ability, it would be the ability to be truly clean and free
of all critical and inconsiderate thoughts toward others.