Valentine

Today I made myself a valentine out of a photo of you and a white lace paper heart doily.  I knew you would never give me one you see.  So I made one myself that I wished you would give me.

I have been very depressed and am crying lately.

I needed a you for me, a you the way I perceive you to be.

So, I asked your brother to be my friend.  He won't of course, any more than you ever will.
I just asked that's all.  He was once my neighbor, like you.

Someday i will be glad i think that you never wanted me, mainly because I'm free of all the negatives that would come of a relationship.  I only regret never knowing the positive part.

So I made a valentine of you.  I hope someday someone loves my sons and daughters like valentines.
I wish they could have the good things i missed out on.

Right now it is important for me to keep those feelings around so i can stop hating him.

So thank you for the valentine, even though you'll never give me one.  I just wanted one.  Sometimes when you want something, you have to do it yourself.

I can pretend sometimes I had someone to love.

I live in a situation where I can't have someone, so if your valentine is all I ever get to have it has to be okay.