3 Oct 2015

I saw you today, while I was washing up the dirtiness or today's gardening efforts. I was out on the sidewalk, and you drove up the street in your truck, your beautiful blue truck. 

Actually, you are so much more beautiful than the truck.  The truck is beautiful because you are in it.  You look so attractive in blue.

You waved.  I don't think I waved back, but I received the same thrill as I did the last wave you gave me day before yesterday. I wish you had stopped to say hello. I would have felt even more lucky if you had done so.

If only, if only our hearts could be linked in love and mutual respect.

I see you and I long to speak to you of love and life and daily things.  I want to make myself part of your existence and have you as part of mine.  It is part of the dream I live in, the mythical creation of you, and not the real man.

I could hold onto my marriage as long as I held onto the myth of my husband, not the man.  Some parts of the man gave wings to the myth, a vehicle to carry the dream and keep the feelings safe. He encouraged the myth to grow, but then could not fulfill its requirements.

No one should have to live up to the fairy tales built up in the mind of another person.

I am living with my dream of you, and the pleasure is very real when I see you.  I don't really know enough about you for a whole relationship to exist.  I'm afraid to learn too much about you, and yet, you are the one I long most to know of.