Crushes

I have found the following quote to be true of most people.  Feelings are inspired by admiration, for something in the other person we would like to be or have or do rather than for the person themselves.  Why don't we love the person for themselves?  Maybe the capacity for real love isn't in us.

"Two decades in the classroom have taught me that when it comes to students and teachers, we don’t get crushes on people whom we want sexually as often as we get crushes on people whom we want to be like. Yes, some crushes are purely physical. But more are what I’d call aspirational: the objects of the crush represent something students want for themselves. College is an uncertain time; good teachers tend to embody passion and certainty, two things students desperately want. And when they’re crushing on a prof, young people are usually confusing the messenger with the message. As I learned the hard way many years ago, rather than encourage the crush to feed our egos, our job as professors is to turn that intensity back on to our students, encouraging them to use their newfound enthusiasm and let it take them to all sorts of wonderful places. Places other, of course, than their professors’ bedrooms."Hugo Schwyzer (The Real Reason You Shouldn’t F%#* Your Professor).