older poems

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1 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Older poems
Tuesday, 31 May 2005
Summer is me, wild and free
smell the green leaves, breathe the warm breeze
Sunlight is me, bright golden beam
warming, caressing, living things blessing
Fresh wind am I, chase clouds through sky
tumbling, twirling, dancing, swirling
I am flowers drinking spring showers
filling the air with sweet scent everywhere
I am starlight, silvery white
Softly I touch you in black velvet night...
If I could love a shadow with a love so strong and true
that it never could be broken, that shadow would be you.
I'd feel your arms around me, hear you breathing in my mind,
but when I turn to hold you, empty air is all I'd find.
Thirsting for your kisses, hungry for your love,
afraid to trust or love one I can never be sure of.
30 May, 05 > 5 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
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Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
2 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Was I lost in reverie or were you really there?
Maybe my loneliness made you appear.
Not really a lover, nor a friend,
nor even a dream to bring me comfort in the night
just an echo of a feeling my heart held within,
just a wisp of a thought out of sight.
Silky shadows slip away
into dawn's first pale rays
as azure eyes meet azure eyes
with kisses in their gaze.
Hazy dreams, rose clouded visions
know no mockery nor derision
recognize no imperfections
eyes tell truthful love confessions.
Memories whirl in gold and blue
smiles light the eyes of two
meeting and sustaining glances
promises renew.
Watch the waves curl toward the land
beat themselves against the sand
hear the gulls cry as they play,
hear the tides washing away
Shells so fragile in my hand
scattered all along the strand
tossed and broken on the beach
laid out for the sun to bleach
Sun so warm against my skin
let the sun come soaking in
see the half nude people play
watch the palm trees bend and sway
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
3 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Ships move slowly out of sight
beyond horizon's unbroken line
surfers stand and pitch and roll
fight the ocean for control
Sand in everything I wear
shoes, shirt, shorts, and underwear.
Is all this loveliness I see
waiting here to welcome me?
Falling broken to my knees in the desert sands,
heat waves rising all around, saguaros start to dance.
through a haze I seem to see,
rippling water and windswept trees.
Mirage, only an illusion.
Created in my mind, increasing my confusion.
Only an optical image,
it's just a mirage...
Fool that I am, I stagger to my feet
racing like a lunatic through the desert heat
filled with urgent desires I can't resist
to capture a dream that doesn't exist.
through a haze I seem to see,
rippling water and windswept trees...
Just a mirage, just a mirage, just a mirage...
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 5:02 PM MDT
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One revolution could not supply
power enough to satisfy.
Ten revolutions or twenty or more
still won't produce the power longed for.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
4 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
And so revolutions continue
over and over and on
ever the quest for power
continues, never done.
What is the price, what is the cost
if one or more revolutions are lost,
will that stop this Great Machine
or is there a Great Machine to stop?
Who or what requires power
measures out the final hour.
In the end, who pays the price
to support our illusions of paradise?
Somewhere in another place, behind another someone's face
there's another human mind thinking thoughts a lot like mine.
Somewhere in somebody's home, someone else sits all alone
wishing they could somehow find someone else with thoughts like mine.
Somewhere in somebody's dreams, someone hears my silent screams
understands my misery, wishes they could comfort me.
Somehow believing someone's there calms my dark unwholesome fear
relieves some of the loneliness, makes the hurting somewhat less.
Somewhere in somebody's heart, there's a space, an empty part
like one in mine that dreams can't fill or know the way that someone will.
Somewhere someone looks for me, hoping they may finally see
hoping soon they'll finally meet, who or whatever makes life complete.
It seems my search is never done, searching for this other one
Hoping someday I will see the somebody who matches me.
Strong eagle shelter me with your dark wings
but hold back your razorlike talons.
The rain beats hard against my small feathers,
and I a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind,
I, a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind.
Strong eagle protect me with your dark wings.
Many would harm me without any thought
because I'm an orphan alone, all alone.
and I a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind,
I, a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind.
Strong eagle enfold me in your dark wings
keep me warm but do not crush me.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
5 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
My small body shivers and quakes in the cold,
and I a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind,
I, a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind.
When the wind blows softly I hear my beloved
whisper sweet love words I'm longing to hear
When the wind blows softly I feel my beloved
reach out to touch him but he isn't there.
When the wind blows softly I need my beloved
empty arms ache to be holding him near
When the wind blows softly I need my beloved
waiting forever, why isn't he here?
In dark moments alone, teardrops slip quietly
out of my tired sad eyes
And I know the wind cannot blow back my friend
who would calm these wrenching heart cries.
Loneliness rages inside,
I build around me walls of pride.
Can't ever let these feelings show,
can't let anyone know.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 5:02 PM MDT
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Alone together, a woman and man
working out their differences as only two can.
At last she turned away saying "you'll never understand"
He reached over and took her hand...
And he said "Teach me to understand you."
"Help me to see what you are going through."
I can't know your thoughts if you don't tell them to me,
please let me in. Help me to see."
He said, "I won't claim to be the most sympathetic man."
And yes, there are some things I'm not going to understand.
But if you won't give me the benefit of doubt,
How are you going to find out?
She said, "It's hard for me to find words to tell you how I feel
and why I do the things I do, what's in my mind and what's for real
I'm just so afraid that you won't love me anymore.
Because the love and life we share is what I live for...
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
6 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
So teach me, to understand you too.
I won't always see what you are going through.
But I can't know your thoughts if you don't tell them to me,
please let me in. Help me to see.
For Aaron
Little brother when I held you and I bounced you in my arms
and saw you smile, heard you laugh, I felt happy and warm.
One of the best things in my life was learning to know you
from the first day of your life, and then all the way through
Little brother I can't say that I've led a perfect life
I can't say that our relationship was free of pain and strife
And I'm so sorry for the times I betrayed your trust in me
And never really told you just what you meant to me.
So now my brother you are grown and you have moved away
And when we meet face to face we don't know what to say
But I forgive the past and I hope you'll forgive me
For my lack of understanding and insensitivity.
Those who have eyes but never use them
for fear they'll lose them
may as well be blind.
Those who have ears that only hear things
but never listen
are lost to our minds.
Don't see the dark side, don't see the light
don't hear the sadness, the cries in the night.
Life and love may be shouting your name
but you cover your head, their efforts in vain...
And we who have eyes never see you
we may as well be blind.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
7 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
And we who have ears never hear you
never know you in our minds.
You tapped my veins and let blood spill freely
like a red waterfall flowing swift to the ground
and your eyes fiery vengeance burning right through me
you carelessly watched me sink down.
And you turned to go, but you didn't know
somebody else was there
who saw you betray me, someone who saved me
who answered my desperate prayers
Angel tears fell on my suffering face
warm caring arms lifted me from the ground
the blood disappeared, tears turned to sunlight
kaleidoscope colors came dancing around.
You turned and left but you didn't know
somebody else was there
who saw you betray me, someone who saved me,
somebody who cared
and answered my desperate prayers.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:59 PM MDT
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If I could be the perfect me.
Would I still be someone you could love?
If I fulfilled all of your needs,
and all the transformations you could think of
do you really think you would be
a happy man living with me?
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
8 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
If I want to progress and improve.
What, may I ask, could you possibly lose?
Somehow lost along the way
the ignorance of yesterday
Could only make our lives get better,
unloose us from our bonds and fetters.
If both of us have common goals
and more compassion and control
upon our intemperate passions
and live our lives in a more rational fashion
we could be so much more
than we used to be, before...
My life is just
a scribble in the dust
easily changed
and so easily rearranged
easy to blow away...
I am only
someone lonely
doodling ideas
of what I think life is
and what I feel today...
And none of it is meant
to harm or torment
another living soul
that isn't my goal
I just want to have my say...
Know my words are just
like scribbles in the dust
here and then gone
Time keeps flowing on
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
9 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and blows my writings all away...
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:58 PM MDT
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He died before he had a chance to live
His mother's tears fell on his little face.
As they put him in her arms they sympathized
with this girl who'd never see her baby's eyes.
So many plans to cherish him and watch as he grew,
but now forced to change her plans and point of view...
Now she grieves her child, nothing comforts
the empty arms, the agony inside.
She'd gladly trade places, she'd give anything
to bring back the child who died.
Her heart ached like never before
as his still body was laid in the ground
.
and she wept bitter tears for her son.
His life was over before it had begun.
Not a blossom,just a withered bud
a scar still encrusted by dark, hardened blood
Weary spirit living in the past
looking to find peace and freedom at last.
longing to breathe outside air again
to laugh and smile and sing again
roll in grass and catch the breeze
climb waving branches of the trees
see the world in a better light
the serene glimmer of stars at night
dive into fluffy clouds, swim in the sky
live in truth and no more lies
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
10 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
bathe in moonlit waterfalls
balance on fragrant garden walls
drink up the warmth of summer sun
leap and dance and lightly run
play hide and seek with rainbows
live the sweetest dreams that anyone knows
live no more as a silent wraith.
Live a life of love and faith.
Never a wife but she bears the burden of an irresponsible man.
He has freedom, she has the baby and sorrows he'll never have.
Nameless baby, unwanted, so easy for him just to say
he wasn't ready, he didn't want it then just walk away.
Growing up a throwaway person,
how can the baby understand
that she doesn't have to be worthless
just because of that man?
Mama was a throwaway person, and tried not to get involved
She knew it could only bring problems she wasn't equipped to solve.
But now the sorrows have started again and troubles she tried to evade
have fallen in upon her, and she has to cope anyway.
Mama's sorry that she has no daddy for you
and can only give you her name.
but she will respct you, will love and protect you.
It's just you and she. A throwaway family.
You remind me of everything I love,
like rainbows after rain
frost flowers in winter
and real ones in the spring,
Like the glory of the summer
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
11 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
the splendor of the fall
the sudden inner warmth I feel
with memories I recall.
You smile and I feel blessed
your voice brings peace to me.
My heart is bound to you
but you set my spirit free.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:56 PM MDT
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Death may come, yes death may come
and find me standing all alone
and death may do me violence
and death may take my home
but temporal death is not my fear
I fear the life that I live here.
Do I ever in ignorance
waste my time and waste my chance
and do I understand the truth
or fall to heedlessness of youth?
If tomorrow I should die,
would vain regrets my coffin line?
Are you living with someone else's decisions
instead of making choices of your own?
Are you driven, by anothers ambitions
and not by yours alone?
Have your dreams been devoured
by someone else's schemes?
have your hopes fallen by the way
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
12 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and need to be redeemed?
Bless my children with the love of a father
and a mother who cares and understands.
Let them be taught the things in life that matter,
let them know the joy of childhood laughter.
Let them be the people who they are,
and let them be the be the most they can become.
Let them always turn to thee my Lord
find peace in thy words of wisdom.
Let my children never seek destruction,
let them raise up others to thy name
let them know thee in their hearts o Lord
and in them burn thine everlasting flame.
Give me strength Lord to teach them in this manner
that they may never cause another to stray.
O God give me fulfillment of this desire,
please O God, show me the way?
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:53 PM MDT
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You want to lose weight but however you try
you can't run away from the weight inside
You can become slim and shapely, suave, debonair
but the person you are will always be there.
So run as fast and far as you can.
Change your face, name, gender to woman or man.
but who you are will always be the same.
Always yourself inside, that can never change.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
13 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Days that have been, days that will be,
places I've been to, places I'll see
pass through my thoughts, regrets for the sorrow
repenting the past, and dreams for tomorrow.
Love lives within me, love I must give
suppress hate and anger to make goodness live
Peace would be ours if everyone gave
of the love within them that all of us have.
Life has begun, life too will pass
the wealthy and poor all alike under grass
and the sweet wind sweeps yesterday's old dust away.
Readies the world for a new man's day.
I'm lonely for the perfume of sun warmed roses,
the spun sugar clouds of the morning sky
smell of rain on the cottonwoods and willows by the river
the smallest breath of wind, softer than a sigh.
thunder like the rolling of wagon wheels.
red cedar swing in the dusky twilight
tiny stars glimmering in
the freshening of the night.
raindrops like tiny soldiers jumping out of puddles.
a calm place to be alone and think out all my troubles.
filling my own needs instead of having them filled
caring for my garden and consuming the yield.
Someday I will be old.
Some things I'll no longer know.
Maybe I will lose my thoughts
and all I sought to hold.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
14 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
I will miss the wonders
I've lived in and loved
the creations of God above
and their influence in my life...
As I feel my vision die
as the once bright colors fade
as the details in my mind
blur like underwater shades
uncertainty presides,
I'm not safe nor yet in danger
and the whisper fills my heart
of the ever present stranger
Learning life all over
as I've never lived before
the independent spirit bound
will fly again once more
In the healing soul
I will learn to rise
and the whisper of a stranger
light a fire in my dead eyes.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:49 PM MDT
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The terrible silence, my greatest fear
remains unbroken as yet by any
continues to grow inside my ears
filling my whole body.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
15 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Bound up my hands, bound up my heart
locked my mind, blinded my eyes
leaving me speechless, cold and dark,
taken my strength, forced me down to my knees.
The beautiful no longer can bring pleasure to my eye,
sound and feeling now are not what I once felt inside.
Instead this intense emptiness
has now replaced my thought and sense
and I cannot break through.
Oh God, what shall I do?.
When shadows of night fall, hiding the day
shy creatures wake from sweet slumber to play.
Where colorful butterflies race in sunlight,
soft silver moths make their way in the night.
As sparrows and meadowlarks sing their last notes
crickets and frogs begin clearing their throats.
Little breezes ruffle fur of nocturnal beasts
blinking owls with shining eyes keep watch in the trees.
Hunters stalk their wary prey through the night hours
fireflies light the way for hungry night prowlers.
When the sun's bright fingers appear overhead
sleepy night creatures curl up in their beds
and slumber till warm daylight hours wane
then rise again to play their games..
If I could stand outside myself and turn and look at me
and see myself through others eyes, I wonder what I'd see?
If I could look beyond myself and see another's pain,
would I reach out my hand to them or turn and walk away?
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
16 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
If I could be more than I am that's what I want to be.
I'd be more loving, and good, and kind
more giving, more open of heart and mind
and look toward the future instead of behind.
If I could see more than i do, that's what I'd want to see.
I would see how to care for others' needs
see my mistakes in words and deeds,
know when to follow and when to lead.
If I could know more than I do, that's what I'd want to know.
I'd know for sure what I do is right
know how to answer my questions inside,
and always pursue eternity's light..
Smile sister moonlight, let your midnight hair
sweep soft o'er the babe in your arms.
Soothe away tears, infantile nightmares,
cradle him, comfort him, keep him from harm.
Lullabye lady alone through dark hours
awaiting your eternal lover
who greets you at dawn as you cradle his son
inspiring you like no other.
Sometimes you're lonely, but lady don't fear.
Someone who loves you will always be near
even if only in spirit.
Smile sweet sister, shine on forever,
shadows eclipse not your light.
Your loved ones and you shall be happy together.
sun shall dispel the dark night
and time's end shall mark new beginnings
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
17 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and the future shall ever beam bright..
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:47 PM MDT
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Violent hands, tearing and shaking
every promise breaking
crushing my arms, crushing my skin
crushing out my breath, crushing me within.
I am smaller, I am weaker than you.
But what I can do
is stab you with my eyes
and hate and despise
The one I promised to love and care for
the one I said I would be there for
I said I would stay
forever and a day
Oh, but that was before...
Violent hands grabbed my hair
violent hands grasped my arms
and the children cried out
in fear and alarm
I am smaller, I am weaker than you
but what I can do
is stab you with my eyes
and hate and despise
The one I promised to love and care for
the one I said I would be there for
I said I would stay
forever and a day
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
18 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Oh, but that was before...
It's easier to hide when something goes wrong
than tell someone else what's going on.
When I'm trying to understand what's real
and how I am supposed to feel.
Some feel angry, some feel hurt
Trying to please everyone never works.
It would be so nice if I just knew it all
made no mistakes, never had to fall.
But I suppose if life were too peachy
I'd think no one has anything to teach me.
I'd have no compassion, and no love to give
I'd be insufferable to live with.
But there are times when I think
my cup of humility is too much to drink
there are too many feelings of fear and doubt
too many things to be mad about.
I feel too distressed to stay,
I wish I could run away...
But I can't just pack up and go
too many people need me I know
and in this world of people so lonely
I'm lucky to have someone who loves me.
He said, "It isn't abuse
if there isn't a bruise"
as he grasped her arms
and held her to the wall
and blocked her way
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
19 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and mocked what she'd say
with no defense
she maintained her silence.
The children watched
their father rage
speak to their mother
in a condescending way
And when he was gone
the raging went on
between the children
and their Mom.
See, daddy doesn't show respect
for the mother of his children.
That makes her job much harder
when he is finally gone
They won't respect or obey her,
and she has to fight them
And disrespect rolls down the line
and rages on and on.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:46 PM MDT
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Here once lived a man who would hug the whole world with his songs
He made people feel loved, gave them reason and hope to go on.
He wanted to heal all the hurting and right all the wrongs.
And one day he flew into the sun and suddenly he was gone.
The singer is gone but the love that he brought us is still living on...
He sang of the mountains and trees, Nature's beautiful things
He sang about life, about love, and the comfort it brings
He sang about people, their deeds and their hopes and their dreams
He sang about feelings and goodness and what living means
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
20 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
The singer is gone but the songs that he sang are still echoing on...
He loved the earth and all of the wonders it holds
He sang songs of treasures worth far more than silver and gold.
Yes living and dying are both our most intimate friends.
But how sad it was for us all to see his life come to it's end.
The singer is gone but the songs that he sang are still echoing on...
The singer is gone but the feelings he brought us are still living on...
A heavy hearted man walked along the beach
his mind bound up in sorrows for things he couldn't reach,
and as he walked he saw an old man
picking up something that lay on the sand
and throwing it into the water...
"Old man, what are you doing " he said
"I'm saving the starfish from dying."
The man looked down the beach for miles
where he knew thousands more were lying.
He said, "Old man you must be crazy.
Your effort's a waste and a big mistake.
There are so many starfish out here
what difference can you possibly make?"
The old man looked at him and smiled
picked up another starfish and threw.
the man saw it arc and splash
as into the rolling waves it flew
then the old man said with sparkling eyes
"I made a difference to that one, didn't I?"

The lost soul out in the street
with dirty clothes and not much to eat
with no sign of family, no sign of friends
living you don't know how and can only imagine.

The woman with the shopping cart sleeping in the alley
might be someone's mother, was once someone's baby
If we don't ask is it because we don't care,
or are we afraid we too could be there?

Well that woman with the shopping cart sleeping in the alleys
someone's mother, sister, cousin, wife, was once someone's baby.
and she's still one of God's children and her pains and prayers
mean just as much to God as any of ours.

The ragged man in the park, on the bench, on the beach
the wandering people no one trusts and no one can reach
they laugh, they cry, they hurt, they bleed
they need the same things as you or me.

If we don't ask is it because we don't care,
or are we afraid we too could be there?

I know that you have lived a disconnected life
not really knowing who you are or who you want to be.

But you have deep within you a very special seed
that given love and nourishment can grow into a tree
It's something to discover, who you really are
and finding out that you can shine as bright as any star.
It's a quest for more than glory, a shining from within
when you learn to become the you that could have been
and I know you are worth believing,
somebody special, someone worth keeping
I know someday you will rise
and paint a rainbow in the skies
and anywhere that you may go
even though we're far apart
You'll live forever within my soul
the legendary hero of my heart.ngelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
1 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Older poems
Tuesday, 31 May 2005
Summer is me, wild and free
smell the green leaves, breathe the warm breeze
Sunlight is me, bright golden beam
warming, caressing, living things blessing
Fresh wind am I, chase clouds through sky
tumbling, twirling, dancing, swirling
I am flowers drinking spring showers
filling the air with sweet scent everywhere
I am starlight, silvery white
Softly I touch you in black velvet night...
If I could love a shadow with a love so strong and true
that it never could be broken, that shadow would be you.
I'd feel your arms around me, hear you breathing in my mind,
but when I turn to hold you, empty air is all I'd find.
Thirsting for your kisses, hungry for your love,
afraid to trust or love one I can never be sure of.
30 May, 05 > 5 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
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Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
2 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Was I lost in reverie or were you really there?
Maybe my loneliness made you appear.
Not really a lover, nor a friend,
nor even a dream to bring me comfort in the night
just an echo of a feeling my heart held within,
just a wisp of a thought out of sight.
Silky shadows slip away
into dawn's first pale rays
as azure eyes meet azure eyes
with kisses in their gaze.
Hazy dreams, rose clouded visions
know no mockery nor derision
recognize no imperfections
eyes tell truthful love confessions.
Memories whirl in gold and blue
smiles light the eyes of two
meeting and sustaining glances
promises renew.
Watch the waves curl toward the land
beat themselves against the sand
hear the gulls cry as they play,
hear the tides washing away
Shells so fragile in my hand
scattered all along the strand
tossed and broken on the beach
laid out for the sun to bleach
Sun so warm against my skin
let the sun come soaking in
see the half nude people play
watch the palm trees bend and sway
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
3 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Ships move slowly out of sight
beyond horizon's unbroken line
surfers stand and pitch and roll
fight the ocean for control
Sand in everything I wear
shoes, shirt, shorts, and underwear.
Is all this loveliness I see
waiting here to welcome me?
Falling broken to my knees in the desert sands,
heat waves rising all around, saguaros start to dance.
through a haze I seem to see,
rippling water and windswept trees.
Mirage, only an illusion.
Created in my mind, increasing my confusion.
Only an optical image,
it's just a mirage...
Fool that I am, I stagger to my feet
racing like a lunatic through the desert heat
filled with urgent desires I can't resist
to capture a dream that doesn't exist.
through a haze I seem to see,
rippling water and windswept trees...
Just a mirage, just a mirage, just a mirage...
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 5:02 PM MDT
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One revolution could not supply
power enough to satisfy.
Ten revolutions or twenty or more
still won't produce the power longed for.
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4 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
And so revolutions continue
over and over and on
ever the quest for power
continues, never done.
What is the price, what is the cost
if one or more revolutions are lost,
will that stop this Great Machine
or is there a Great Machine to stop?
Who or what requires power
measures out the final hour.
In the end, who pays the price
to support our illusions of paradise?
Somewhere in another place, behind another someone's face
there's another human mind thinking thoughts a lot like mine.
Somewhere in somebody's home, someone else sits all alone
wishing they could somehow find someone else with thoughts like mine.
Somewhere in somebody's dreams, someone hears my silent screams
understands my misery, wishes they could comfort me.
Somehow believing someone's there calms my dark unwholesome fear
relieves some of the loneliness, makes the hurting somewhat less.
Somewhere in somebody's heart, there's a space, an empty part
like one in mine that dreams can't fill or know the way that someone will.
Somewhere someone looks for me, hoping they may finally see
hoping soon they'll finally meet, who or whatever makes life complete.
It seems my search is never done, searching for this other one
Hoping someday I will see the somebody who matches me.
Strong eagle shelter me with your dark wings
but hold back your razorlike talons.
The rain beats hard against my small feathers,
and I a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind,
I, a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind.
Strong eagle protect me with your dark wings.
Many would harm me without any thought
because I'm an orphan alone, all alone.
and I a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind,
I, a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind.
Strong eagle enfold me in your dark wings
keep me warm but do not crush me.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
5 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
My small body shivers and quakes in the cold,
and I a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind,
I, a poor sparrow am tossed by the wind.
When the wind blows softly I hear my beloved
whisper sweet love words I'm longing to hear
When the wind blows softly I feel my beloved
reach out to touch him but he isn't there.
When the wind blows softly I need my beloved
empty arms ache to be holding him near
When the wind blows softly I need my beloved
waiting forever, why isn't he here?
In dark moments alone, teardrops slip quietly
out of my tired sad eyes
And I know the wind cannot blow back my friend
who would calm these wrenching heart cries.
Loneliness rages inside,
I build around me walls of pride.
Can't ever let these feelings show,
can't let anyone know.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 5:02 PM MDT
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Alone together, a woman and man
working out their differences as only two can.
At last she turned away saying "you'll never understand"
He reached over and took her hand...
And he said "Teach me to understand you."
"Help me to see what you are going through."
I can't know your thoughts if you don't tell them to me,
please let me in. Help me to see."
He said, "I won't claim to be the most sympathetic man."
And yes, there are some things I'm not going to understand.
But if you won't give me the benefit of doubt,
How are you going to find out?
She said, "It's hard for me to find words to tell you how I feel
and why I do the things I do, what's in my mind and what's for real
I'm just so afraid that you won't love me anymore.
Because the love and life we share is what I live for...
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
6 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
So teach me, to understand you too.
I won't always see what you are going through.
But I can't know your thoughts if you don't tell them to me,
please let me in. Help me to see.
For Aaron
Little brother when I held you and I bounced you in my arms
and saw you smile, heard you laugh, I felt happy and warm.
One of the best things in my life was learning to know you
from the first day of your life, and then all the way through
Little brother I can't say that I've led a perfect life
I can't say that our relationship was free of pain and strife
And I'm so sorry for the times I betrayed your trust in me
And never really told you just what you meant to me.
So now my brother you are grown and you have moved away
And when we meet face to face we don't know what to say
But I forgive the past and I hope you'll forgive me
For my lack of understanding and insensitivity.
Those who have eyes but never use them
for fear they'll lose them
may as well be blind.
Those who have ears that only hear things
but never listen
are lost to our minds.
Don't see the dark side, don't see the light
don't hear the sadness, the cries in the night.
Life and love may be shouting your name
but you cover your head, their efforts in vain...
And we who have eyes never see you
we may as well be blind.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
7 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
And we who have ears never hear you
never know you in our minds.
You tapped my veins and let blood spill freely
like a red waterfall flowing swift to the ground
and your eyes fiery vengeance burning right through me
you carelessly watched me sink down.
And you turned to go, but you didn't know
somebody else was there
who saw you betray me, someone who saved me
who answered my desperate prayers
Angel tears fell on my suffering face
warm caring arms lifted me from the ground
the blood disappeared, tears turned to sunlight
kaleidoscope colors came dancing around.
You turned and left but you didn't know
somebody else was there
who saw you betray me, someone who saved me,
somebody who cared
and answered my desperate prayers.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:59 PM MDT
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If I could be the perfect me.
Would I still be someone you could love?
If I fulfilled all of your needs,
and all the transformations you could think of
do you really think you would be
a happy man living with me?
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
8 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
If I want to progress and improve.
What, may I ask, could you possibly lose?
Somehow lost along the way
the ignorance of yesterday
Could only make our lives get better,
unloose us from our bonds and fetters.
If both of us have common goals
and more compassion and control
upon our intemperate passions
and live our lives in a more rational fashion
we could be so much more
than we used to be, before...
My life is just
a scribble in the dust
easily changed
and so easily rearranged
easy to blow away...
I am only
someone lonely
doodling ideas
of what I think life is
and what I feel today...
And none of it is meant
to harm or torment
another living soul
that isn't my goal
I just want to have my say...
Know my words are just
like scribbles in the dust
here and then gone
Time keeps flowing on
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
9 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and blows my writings all away...
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:58 PM MDT
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He died before he had a chance to live
His mother's tears fell on his little face.
As they put him in her arms they sympathized
with this girl who'd never see her baby's eyes.
So many plans to cherish him and watch as he grew,
but now forced to change her plans and point of view...
Now she grieves her child, nothing comforts
the empty arms, the agony inside.
She'd gladly trade places, she'd give anything
to bring back the child who died.
Her heart ached like never before
as his still body was laid in the ground
.
and she wept bitter tears for her son.
His life was over before it had begun.
Not a blossom,just a withered bud
a scar still encrusted by dark, hardened blood
Weary spirit living in the past
looking to find peace and freedom at last.
longing to breathe outside air again
to laugh and smile and sing again
roll in grass and catch the breeze
climb waving branches of the trees
see the world in a better light
the serene glimmer of stars at night
dive into fluffy clouds, swim in the sky
live in truth and no more lies
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
10 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
bathe in moonlit waterfalls
balance on fragrant garden walls
drink up the warmth of summer sun
leap and dance and lightly run
play hide and seek with rainbows
live the sweetest dreams that anyone knows
live no more as a silent wraith.
Live a life of love and faith.
Never a wife but she bears the burden of an irresponsible man.
He has freedom, she has the baby and sorrows he'll never have.
Nameless baby, unwanted, so easy for him just to say
he wasn't ready, he didn't want it then just walk away.
Growing up a throwaway person,
how can the baby understand
that she doesn't have to be worthless
just because of that man?
Mama was a throwaway person, and tried not to get involved
She knew it could only bring problems she wasn't equipped to solve.
But now the sorrows have started again and troubles she tried to evade
have fallen in upon her, and she has to cope anyway.
Mama's sorry that she has no daddy for you
and can only give you her name.
but she will respct you, will love and protect you.
It's just you and she. A throwaway family.
You remind me of everything I love,
like rainbows after rain
frost flowers in winter
and real ones in the spring,
Like the glory of the summer
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
11 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
the splendor of the fall
the sudden inner warmth I feel
with memories I recall.
You smile and I feel blessed
your voice brings peace to me.
My heart is bound to you
but you set my spirit free.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:56 PM MDT
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Death may come, yes death may come
and find me standing all alone
and death may do me violence
and death may take my home
but temporal death is not my fear
I fear the life that I live here.
Do I ever in ignorance
waste my time and waste my chance
and do I understand the truth
or fall to heedlessness of youth?
If tomorrow I should die,
would vain regrets my coffin line?
Are you living with someone else's decisions
instead of making choices of your own?
Are you driven, by anothers ambitions
and not by yours alone?
Have your dreams been devoured
by someone else's schemes?
have your hopes fallen by the way
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
12 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and need to be redeemed?
Bless my children with the love of a father
and a mother who cares and understands.
Let them be taught the things in life that matter,
let them know the joy of childhood laughter.
Let them be the people who they are,
and let them be the be the most they can become.
Let them always turn to thee my Lord
find peace in thy words of wisdom.
Let my children never seek destruction,
let them raise up others to thy name
let them know thee in their hearts o Lord
and in them burn thine everlasting flame.
Give me strength Lord to teach them in this manner
that they may never cause another to stray.
O God give me fulfillment of this desire,
please O God, show me the way?
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:53 PM MDT
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You want to lose weight but however you try
you can't run away from the weight inside
You can become slim and shapely, suave, debonair
but the person you are will always be there.
So run as fast and far as you can.
Change your face, name, gender to woman or man.
but who you are will always be the same.
Always yourself inside, that can never change.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
13 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Days that have been, days that will be,
places I've been to, places I'll see
pass through my thoughts, regrets for the sorrow
repenting the past, and dreams for tomorrow.
Love lives within me, love I must give
suppress hate and anger to make goodness live
Peace would be ours if everyone gave
of the love within them that all of us have.
Life has begun, life too will pass
the wealthy and poor all alike under grass
and the sweet wind sweeps yesterday's old dust away.
Readies the world for a new man's day.
I'm lonely for the perfume of sun warmed roses,
the spun sugar clouds of the morning sky
smell of rain on the cottonwoods and willows by the river
the smallest breath of wind, softer than a sigh.
thunder like the rolling of wagon wheels.
red cedar swing in the dusky twilight
tiny stars glimmering in
the freshening of the night.
raindrops like tiny soldiers jumping out of puddles.
a calm place to be alone and think out all my troubles.
filling my own needs instead of having them filled
caring for my garden and consuming the yield.
Someday I will be old.
Some things I'll no longer know.
Maybe I will lose my thoughts
and all I sought to hold.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
14 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
I will miss the wonders
I've lived in and loved
the creations of God above
and their influence in my life...
As I feel my vision die
as the once bright colors fade
as the details in my mind
blur like underwater shades
uncertainty presides,
I'm not safe nor yet in danger
and the whisper fills my heart
of the ever present stranger
Learning life all over
as I've never lived before
the independent spirit bound
will fly again once more
In the healing soul
I will learn to rise
and the whisper of a stranger
light a fire in my dead eyes.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:49 PM MDT
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The terrible silence, my greatest fear
remains unbroken as yet by any
continues to grow inside my ears
filling my whole body.
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
15 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Bound up my hands, bound up my heart
locked my mind, blinded my eyes
leaving me speechless, cold and dark,
taken my strength, forced me down to my knees.
The beautiful no longer can bring pleasure to my eye,
sound and feeling now are not what I once felt inside.
Instead this intense emptiness
has now replaced my thought and sense
and I cannot break through.
Oh God, what shall I do?.
When shadows of night fall, hiding the day
shy creatures wake from sweet slumber to play.
Where colorful butterflies race in sunlight,
soft silver moths make their way in the night.
As sparrows and meadowlarks sing their last notes
crickets and frogs begin clearing their throats.
Little breezes ruffle fur of nocturnal beasts
blinking owls with shining eyes keep watch in the trees.
Hunters stalk their wary prey through the night hours
fireflies light the way for hungry night prowlers.
When the sun's bright fingers appear overhead
sleepy night creatures curl up in their beds
and slumber till warm daylight hours wane
then rise again to play their games..
If I could stand outside myself and turn and look at me
and see myself through others eyes, I wonder what I'd see?
If I could look beyond myself and see another's pain,
would I reach out my hand to them or turn and walk away?
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
16 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
If I could be more than I am that's what I want to be.
I'd be more loving, and good, and kind
more giving, more open of heart and mind
and look toward the future instead of behind.
If I could see more than i do, that's what I'd want to see.
I would see how to care for others' needs
see my mistakes in words and deeds,
know when to follow and when to lead.
If I could know more than I do, that's what I'd want to know.
I'd know for sure what I do is right
know how to answer my questions inside,
and always pursue eternity's light..
Smile sister moonlight, let your midnight hair
sweep soft o'er the babe in your arms.
Soothe away tears, infantile nightmares,
cradle him, comfort him, keep him from harm.
Lullabye lady alone through dark hours
awaiting your eternal lover
who greets you at dawn as you cradle his son
inspiring you like no other.
Sometimes you're lonely, but lady don't fear.
Someone who loves you will always be near
even if only in spirit.
Smile sweet sister, shine on forever,
shadows eclipse not your light.
Your loved ones and you shall be happy together.
sun shall dispel the dark night
and time's end shall mark new beginnings
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
17 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and the future shall ever beam bright..
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:47 PM MDT
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Violent hands, tearing and shaking
every promise breaking
crushing my arms, crushing my skin
crushing out my breath, crushing me within.
I am smaller, I am weaker than you.
But what I can do
is stab you with my eyes
and hate and despise
The one I promised to love and care for
the one I said I would be there for
I said I would stay
forever and a day
Oh, but that was before...
Violent hands grabbed my hair
violent hands grasped my arms
and the children cried out
in fear and alarm
I am smaller, I am weaker than you
but what I can do
is stab you with my eyes
and hate and despise
The one I promised to love and care for
the one I said I would be there for
I said I would stay
forever and a day
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
18 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
Oh, but that was before...
It's easier to hide when something goes wrong
than tell someone else what's going on.
When I'm trying to understand what's real
and how I am supposed to feel.
Some feel angry, some feel hurt
Trying to please everyone never works.
It would be so nice if I just knew it all
made no mistakes, never had to fall.
But I suppose if life were too peachy
I'd think no one has anything to teach me.
I'd have no compassion, and no love to give
I'd be insufferable to live with.
But there are times when I think
my cup of humility is too much to drink
there are too many feelings of fear and doubt
too many things to be mad about.
I feel too distressed to stay,
I wish I could run away...
But I can't just pack up and go
too many people need me I know
and in this world of people so lonely
I'm lucky to have someone who loves me.
He said, "It isn't abuse
if there isn't a bruise"
as he grasped her arms
and held her to the wall
and blocked her way
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19 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
and mocked what she'd say
with no defense
she maintained her silence.
The children watched
their father rage
speak to their mother
in a condescending way
And when he was gone
the raging went on
between the children
and their Mom.
See, daddy doesn't show respect
for the mother of his children.
That makes her job much harder
when he is finally gone
They won't respect or obey her,
and she has to fight them
And disrespect rolls down the line
and rages on and on.
Posted by ut/dustwriter at 4:46 PM MDT
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Here once lived a man who would hug the whole world with his songs
He made people feel loved, gave them reason and hope to go on.
He wanted to heal all the hurting and right all the wrongs.
And one day he flew into the sun and suddenly he was gone.
The singer is gone but the love that he brought us is still living on...
He sang of the mountains and trees, Nature's beautiful things
He sang about life, about love, and the comfort it brings
He sang about people, their deeds and their hopes and their dreams
He sang about feelings and goodness and what living means
Older poems http://www.angelfire.com/ut/dustwriter/blog1/
20 of 22 10/20/2007 10:33 AM
The singer is gone but the songs that he sang are still echoing on...
He loved the earth and all of the wonders it holds
He sang songs of treasures worth far more than silver and gold.
Yes living and dying are both our most intimate friends.
But how sad it was for us all to see his life come to it's end.
The singer is gone but the songs that he sang are still echoing on...
The singer is gone but the feelings he brought us are still living on...
A heavy hearted man walked along the beach
his mind bound up in sorrows for things he couldn't reach,
and as he walked he saw an old man
picking up something that lay on the sand
and throwing it into the water...
"Old man, what are you doing " he said
"I'm saving the starfish from dying."
The man looked down the beach for miles
where he knew thousands more were lying.
He said, "Old man you must be crazy.
Your effort's a waste and a big mistake.
There are so many starfish out here
what difference can you possibly make?"
The old man looked at him and smiled
picked up another starfish and threw.
the man saw it arc and splash
as into the rolling waves it flew
then the old man said with sparkling eyes
"I made a difference to that one, didn't I?"

The lost soul out in the street
with dirty clothes and not much to eat
with no sign of family, no sign of friends
living you don't know how and can only imagine.

The woman with the shopping cart sleeping in the alley
might be someone's mother, was once someone's baby
If we don't ask is it because we don't care,
or are we afraid we too could be there?

Well that woman with the shopping cart sleeping in the alleys
someone's mother, sister, cousin, wife, was once someone's baby.
and she's still one of God's children and her pains and prayers
mean just as much to God as any of ours.

The ragged man in the park, on the bench, on the beach
the wandering people no one trusts and no one can reach
they laugh, they cry, they hurt, they bleed
they need the same things as you or me.

If we don't ask is it because we don't care,
or are we afraid we too could be there?

I know that you have lived a disconnected life
not really knowing who you are or who you want to be.

But you have deep within you a very special seed
that given love and nourishment can grow into a tree
It's something to discover, who you really are
and finding out that you can shine as bright as any star.
It's a quest for more than glory, a shining from within
when you learn to become the you that could have been
and I know you are worth believing,
somebody special, someone worth keeping
I know someday you will rise
and paint a rainbow in the skies
and anywhere that you may go
even though we're far apart
You'll live forever within my soul
the legendary hero of my heart.